Shabd—the review

Random Thoughts of a Demented Mind

You love someone. Can you make him/ her do something he/she does not really want to? And can you predict everything that he/she will do in such a situation? What if his/her actions deviate from what you thought he/she would do? Does that mean you never knew him/her in the first place?

“Shabd” is mindblowing. It’s very unlike your normal Hindi movie—stylistically and very definitely thematically. So much so that I wonder how this movie ever got made——this was fated to be a commercial dud from the get-go. Indian audiences, with all due acknowledgement to its newly-discovered discernment, will never appreciate this movie. Far less understand it.

Sanjay Dutt is a Booker prize (a bit of overkill here but hey what the hell) winning author suffering from a serious case of writer’s block. His last novel had been critically panned for being neither reality nor fantasy—–in fact it was such…

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For the love of Darla

Buffyverse shows have always been true to its characters, the script beautifully compliments their natural growth. The thing about the Buffyverse is, there are so many varied characters with their own miseries and stories that one can strike a major chord with even a minor character as easily as one connects to a major character. The subtle nuances, dialogue, back stories, even the actors portraying the roles make them close to your heart.


Darla is a minor recurring character in BTVS but plays a much larger role in ANGEL. She’s Angel’s sire and the mother of his child, Connor. Her character undergoes a lot of transformation because of the multiple deaths (4). What remains constant is her bond with Angel. Darla chose Angelus over The Master. For Angelus, life was boring; Darla was full of surprises. Angel and Darla accept that they weren’t capable of love as undead creatures, though they cared deeply having wreaked havoc for centuries together, always finding their way back to each other. Prior to his search for redemption after restoration of his soul, Angel sought Darla for over a hundred years. The first thing Darla tells Buffy in the presence of Angel is that the saddest thing in the world is to love someone who used to love you, revealing their past relationship to her. Angel becomes obsessed with Darla when she is brought back as human by W & H. Darla desires Angel even in human form and is hurt when Angel tells her that she never made him happy. Lindsey falls in love with Darla but she returns to Angel for help when she feels the weight of her soul. Once it is revealed that Darla’s dying, Angel risks his life to save hers, so that she can have a chance at redemption, lead a normal life. Angel is deeply disturbed by his failure to save Darla and promises to be by her side till she breathes her last. Darla is turned again and Angel reaches a new low altogether due to his inability to save her. After Darla is unable to give Angel a moment of perfect happiness, she is extremely upset due to her failure of getting Angelus back. Angel cites their time together as a moment of perfect despair. Darla shares their unborn baby’s soul and fears she wouldn’t be able to love it once it’s not a part of her. She royally redeems herself when she sacrifices her own life for their son to be born, she tells Angel that their child is the only good thing they’ve ever done together and stakes herself.

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Generally, fans prefer Drusilla to Darla and Julie Benz herself revealed in an interview that Darla wasn’t much liked by fans. For me, she is the most bad ass female vampire in Buffyverse, totally unapologetic about her demonic status. She wreaks havoc like nobody can, her passion reveals itself in her desire for Angelus. Darla is one of the most under appreciated characters even though she is indispensable to the mythology of the show.

Throwback to the time I was consumed by Buffyverse and it’s superheroes.

I’m stuck in the Buffyverse. I can’t get over the characters, their misery and the eventual triumph. It is just so full of everything that makes life real. Did I mention the misery? The shows are symbolic of so much; redemption, strength, resolution, truth, overcoming internal demons and always fighting the good fight.

The titular characters are such role models and epitome of virtue and righteousness. Buffy is the one every woman looks up to, she’s selfless, witty and reliable besides being the strongest woman known to humanity on television. Beyond the legacy of the slayer, her emotional strength at such a young age is immense. She makes you want to be a better person. Even after being deprived of her lover, her mother and dying twice, she’ll still standing. Buffy loses herself but she never loses her way, she is a leader whose deeply rooted morals show her the way. Buffy genuinely possesses a heart of gold which gets brutally crushed many a times. She undergoes a dark phase when she feels dead inside but she walks through the fire and lets it burn her if it means doing what is needed of her; her understanding of which is almost appalling. They say the best way to die is to die in the place of a loved one, Buffy puts her life on the line every time to save the world from another apocalypse, to avoid a disturbing prophecy. She saves the world a lot and is aware that the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Buffy Summers is the ultimate heroine who swears by her code of honour even if it kills her, she knows what’s best even if it takes time to follow suit. She beautifully matures into cookie dough and makes us realize that like her, we aren’t finished baking yet, we haven’t become the person we’re supposed to be, our story doesn’t end here.

The WB#00001

Angel is the brooding tortured soul, the ultimate saviour who seeks redemption via helping the helpless. Buffy symbolizes strength while Angel symbolizes redemption and the eternal conflict with his own demons. Angel’s search for redemption is a result of his relationship with Buffy. For the first time ever, he comes close to a hero and witnesses the bad she prevents and the positive impact she has. Buffy’s love helped Angel to become the greatest soul he was capable of being. Angel comes face to face with the power he holds and people he can save. Prior to meeting Buffy and his search for redemption after restoration of his soul, for a hundred years, Angel sought Darla. The re-conversion of Darla destroys Angel, he thought saving her would amount to him saving himself. Guilt weighs on his restored soul heavily and he realizes whatever redemption may be achieved will be insufficient and his fight against evil cannot be won because evil is inherent in human nature. Angel too, feels lost without a purpose. On multiple occasions, Angel redeems himself, overcoming personal tragedies to continue the fight against the forces of evil. He loses the love of his life, his sire and gives up his son willingly to assure him a safe and happy life. Angel’s personal sacrifices keep on mounting while he continues to live an eternal life, fighting against evil he cannot defeat, in an attempt to save a few more souls, to do the right thing.



After a lot of over thinking, I’ve concluded that writing is what calms me and sharing it might be the only way I can survive. I recently realized I’ve lost the ability to communicate orally, that coupled with Saajan Fernandez’s “I think we forget things if we have no one to tell them to” pushed me to let go of my laziness and inhibitions. I’m finally here, secretly hoping I’m able to connect with people on the basis of my mid night musings, most importantly, to know I’m not the only crazy one.